How To Become Emotionally Strong

Experiencing emotions is a normal part of human living and there is nothing inherently bad about having emotions but allowing yourself to be ruled by emotions is bad. For this reason, emotional strength and maturity is essential.
Emotional maturity is the ability to control your emotions and take full responsibility for your life along with its opportunities and dramas.
Emotional maturity is something that we must develop in our lives by knowing how to respond to situations in a mature and responsible manner. It is a quality worth working towards if you aren’t already there.
No one is perfect. We are all in the process of improving ourselves.

Here are things you can practice to become more emotionally mature and strong.

1. Don’t let negativity get the best of you.
Your brain is a radio transmitter. It broadcasts thoughts, directions and vibrations into your life – you get to choose the station it’s tuned to.
Emotionally strong people understand this and tune out negativity to make room for positivity. Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives become harder to see.

2. Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself.
Emotionally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life, work on changing what can be changed, and keep in mind that life isn’t always easy or fair. In the end, happiness is not the absence of problems, but simply the ability to deal well with them. So look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.

3. Don’t think you need more to be happy.
Know that happiness is a mindset of appreciation. In other words, happiness doesn’t start when “this, that or the other thing” is resolved. Happiness is what happens now when you appreciate what you have.

4. Don’t compare your journey to everyone else’s.
Social comparison is the thief of happiness. Do YOUR best and don’t compare your progress with that of others. They aren’t YOU. We all need our own time to travel our own distance. Emotionally strong people know this is the truth, and they live by it.

5. Don’t envy and resent other people’s success.
Learn to genuinely appreciate and celebrate other people’s success. Don’t grow envious or feel cheated when others achieve something you are trying to achieve. Instead, recognize that success comes with hard work, and be willing to work hard for your own chance at success. True confidence has no room for envy and resentment. When you know you are great, you have no reason to hate.

6. Don’t expect everything to be easy.
Don’t view failures and delays as reasons to give up. Instead, use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. Be willing to keep trying until you get it right. Whether you are working on improving your health or getting a new business off the ground, don’t expect immediate results.
Instead, apply your efforts and skills to the best of your ability and understand that real change takes time.

7. Don’t say, “I can’t.”
As Henry Ford puts it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” This is true. If you really want to do something, you can and you will find a way. If you don’t, you will surely find a long list of excuses. So stop saying “I wish” and start saying “I will.” Turn your “can’ts” into “cans” and your dreams into plans.

8. Don’t let fleeting temptations distract you from your dreams.
Don’t let the temptations of today distract you from what you deserve. Stay emotionally strong. Do what you have to do now so you can do what you want to do later.

9. Don’t get impatient and settle.
Good things don’t come to those who wait. Good things come to those who are patient… while working hard for what they want most in life. If you know what you want, if you can see it, feel it and move toward it in some small way every single day… it has to happen. Be patient and keep working. That’s what emotionally strong people do.

10. Don’t make the same exact mistakes over and over again.
You can’t make the same mistake twice. Because the second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a choice. Accept responsibility for your behavior and learn from past mistakes. As a result, you won’t keep repeating the same mistakes over and over. Instead, you grow and move on to better decisions and new lessons.

11. Don’t resist change.
Don’t try to avoid change. Instead, welcome positive change into your life and be willing to be flexible. Understand that change is inevitable and believe in your abilities to adapt. Change happens for a reason. Roll with it! It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

12. Don’t waste time and energy on things you can’t control.
Instead, focus on what you can control in your life. And above all, recognize that sometimes the only thing you can control is your attitude. After all, inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow an uncontrollable event or person to control your emotions.

13. Don’t hang on every word other people say about you.
Emotionally strong people listen to their own heart and intuition, not the peanut gallery. So try not to take things other people say about you too personally. What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you. Ultimately, you can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.

14. Don’t think everyone is out to get you.
Emotionally strong people choose to see the good in others. Because the truth is, the world is full of good people. Whoever says otherwise hasn’t looked around. So look around. Appreciate them. Connect and smile together. When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.

15. Don’t worry about pleasing everyone.
Recognize that you don’t need to please everyone all the time. Do not be afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. Strive to be compassionate and fair, but be able to handle other people being disappointed if you didn’t perfectly live up to their unfair expectations. The bottom line is, pleasing everyone is impossible.

16. Don’t think it’s too late to start over.
Let go of the idea that it’s too late to start over. Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t… even if it means beginning anew. Just because some things didn’t work out as you had expected, or didn’t happen as fast as you thought they would, is no excuse to give up on yourself.
Time passes one way or the other. Do what you need to do so that, at the very least, you can look back someday and say, “I gave life my best shot.”

Now it is your turn. What is your emotional strength/maturity level? Can you see yourself in the above statements and are there areas you want to improve upon? I personally have areas I need to work upon too.
It’s never too late – whether you are 18 or 81 there are chances for you to increase your emotional maturity/strength.
Feel free to leave a comment.

Credits to Angel Chernoff for some excerpts used in this post.